Guess it's time for an update...

Not much has happened or changed since the last time I posted. Life has been "boring", but that means I've been able to just relax and rest and take advantage of my month completely off work. Next week I'm going to go back into the office for one day a week to work on weddings that I have coming up and other projects I was in the midst of.

As far as morning sickness goes, my ability to do much hasn't changed but it has switched from nausea/stomach ache to really killer headaches. The last 3 days have been the best in that area that I've had in about 2 weeks and I was able to go grocery shopping, catch up on some bills & paperwork stuff, make a real dinner last night and even FINALLY broke in the bread machine! And we finally got our insurance cards so I made my first dr. appointment for next Tuesday (10/4). I guess the next OB appointment opening they have isn't until 10/12 and since I'd be past my first trimester and they have first trimester blood work they want to do they went ahead and scheduled a regular check-up. So I don't really know what to expect. It was kind of nice not going to the dr. because I know now I'm going to be presented with all the options of what genetic tests and vaccines and blah blah blah...I guess this is just the start of a lot of decisions I/we will have to make for our child(ren).

I did weigh myself again, though the circumstances (time of day and what scale I used) were different. About a month ago I weighed myself at my parent's and I weighed 139 (made sense as I was about 136 last time I weighed in at the gym before I started my personal training) but yesterday when I weighed myself I was only 129. I don't know if it's the difference circumstances or the fact that I haven't been very active the past month and I've maybe lost some of the muscle I was building up while working out. So we'll see how that all goes...I'm hoping to be able to resume working out and my personal training for the remainder of the pregnancy once I'm done with my first trimester (Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday!!!!!)

Ups and downs!

Saturday-Monday were really good days! I dared to think it was the end of the morning sickness! But yesterday and today have been no fun! Not as bad as Wednesday-Friday of last week but probably close to that bad.

A lot of change has happened in the past week, had 2 meetings with my respective bosses and as of last Friday I officially am not working for at LEAST 3 months. My official duties with WPCC are done as of last Tuesday though I still hope to be involved with the ministry in the future as a volunteer to help with planning events. I knew I would probably leave after the banquet in November but my sickness came at a time when it was crucial for me to be able to perform my duties in a timely fashion and I wasn't able to. All involved thought it best to hand over the responsibilities to someone else who is more reliable. I'm sad that I'm not capable of doing it but it's a relief as I was worried I would let them down by not being able to fulfill my responsibilities. Then on Friday I met with Zoro and he asked that I take at least 3 months off from all my responsibilities at church (knowing I probably would have a hard time making that decision myself!). I will be training some of the other leaders on some of the little admin stuff I had been taking care of and also training Justin's new intern on some of the admin stuff I did as well. There's not THAT much that I can train them on as most of my responsibilities were random tasks I was asked to do. I still want to be involved with my 3 small group girls through their graduation from high school (they're starting their junior year) but we'll see if that's in the capacity of their official small group leader or just as a friend/mentor. I will revisit being a regular youth group leader again in December.

It's been an interesting first week with absolutely no responsibilities. It's a little frustrating because I don't feel well enough to do all the things around the house I want to do now that I have the time but I know that will come. I'm planning on spending a lot of time in crafting for the Light of Christmas boutique in November and after that work on getting the house ready for baby!

God has given me such a peace about "losing" such important things in my life all in one week. I was surprised at how willing I was to let go of these things (and both decisions being not exactly my own). I was worried before thinking about how I would make the decisions/react to stop working but I think God has been preparing my heart for it and it's been a smoother transition that I expected. Now if I just felt well I wouldn't feel so bored and lazy!

Now it's REALLY official!

Yesterday I finally got to go in to WPCC (Whittier Pregnancy Care Clinic) to get my first ultrasound! I've been waiting for Matt to be home from his work traveling so he could be there with me. I realized after seeing the images and talking to Kathie, the nurse (a dear co-worker and friend) that up until now the only confirmation I've had that I was indeed pregnant was the home pregnancy test I took. Granted, the symptoms are hard to argue with but WHAT IF it was all psychological!? Baby measured 8 weeks, 0 days which is only one day off what I had calculated. That means my official due date is April 17, 2012. I'll post the ultrasound pics soon, but just imagine a little teddy graham cracker (that's about the same size too). Baby has a strong heart beat (a good sign) of 169 beats per min. and was 16mm long. So cool to see the little arms and legs and he/she even danced a bit for us. I had my mom and Rachel come along as well.

In other baby news, all the typical pregnancy symptoms are in full swing. I had my first experience of being strangely emotional on Monday (Labor Day). I was exhausted after a BBQ at my parents and on the drive home suddenly all I wanted was to be lying on the cold tile floor at Yata's house on the blue fuzzy blanket with white flowers watching TV with her. It was super weird...I don't know if it's because the feelings nausea remind me of that...(that was the default whenever we were sick growing up) or what, but the whole picture came into my mind and it almost made me cry! I feel like the "morning" sickness has gotten worse over the past few days but the fatigue isn't quite as bad. I still sleep a lot at night but I haven't been taking as many naps during the day as before. I don't know if that's really good or not as I'm still not able to be very productive since the nausea kicks in pretty much anytime I try to get up and move around. Oh, but every moment is so worth it! I'm blessed to be able to just relax and not do too much while feeling sick, mad props to others that deal with this and have to keep working and/or take care of other kids!!! I'm also getting ridiculous cravings! Nothing consistent though so it's not like I can just keep something in the house. Today it's been celery with peanut butter and Pillsbury crescent rolls or biscuits. I was super excited to find I had crescent rolls in the house only to see they expired June 2010...oops :(

Hopefully within the next week or two I will be able to go in for an actual doctors appointment. I'm so excited that we have new insurance through Matt's work which means I can deliver at Pres!! It's nice to have so many people I trust able to give references for doctors and give me their personal experiences at the hospital.

'scuse me, you have pooh on your back...

As promised, here is the story/explanation of my tattoo. (And you can lay off the jokes...I've heard them all!)

Earlier this year I started watching Miami Ink on Netflix. It's a fun show that I had seen a lot while Matt and I were dating and while I never had any personal desire for a tattoo it was interesting. I've never had an "issue" with tattoos, don't think they're morally wrong, I just never had the desire to put something permanently on my body. I remember asking Matt if he liked them and he said he likes bare skin just fine. For me, that was a good enough reason to not get one (I kinda thought if he DID like them maybe I'd get one for him). So back to this year, I watched all 6 seasons and seeing the amazing artwork that is possible now (tattoos aren't just naked women or anchors on crusty old sailors) I thought a tattoo would be cool but still wasn't serious as I didn't have anything of significance to get a tattoo of and didn't want to get one "just for fun". The thought of a "just for fun" tattoo scared me, I felt like to be sure I would be happy with something permanently on my body, the chances would be higher if it was something that had significance. So I kinda thought about what would have significance for me and the one idea I had was something related to Winnie the Pooh. Trust me, I got plenty of flak for that (my sisters still hate the fact that I have a "Pooh tattoo") but Winnie the Pooh has always been special to me. I took over/inherited my mom's WtP collection in high school and it's always been my favorite Disney character; was never into the Disney princesses. I knew I would want a Classic Pooh image and kinda settled on the "Poohsticks" scene because it was less an image of Pooh himself and more of a scenic image that just so happened to have him in it. Still, I thought "I'll never get it, the image itself doesn't have a REAL significance to my life and unless I knew ahead of time it would end up EXACTLY as I wanted, I would be too hesitant to go through with it". And that's when I found the quote....

"Rivers know this: there is no rush. We shall get there someday."

For a bear of very little brains, he sure has some wisdom! The quote doesn't specifically go with the image but the river in the image is a reminder to me of the quote. Now, why is that quote significant to me? You all know I am a fast-paced, energetic, impatient person. More specifically, this whole thing came together (the desire for a tattoo, the image, the quote) about 1 1/2 years into our trying to have a baby. As I mentioned in my last post, in April 2010, 2 months after we decided to stop preventing pregnancy, I had a miscarriage early on. While it was nice to know I COULD get pregnant, it was very frustrating to go throughout that next 15 months not getting pregnant and imagining what life would be like if I hadn't miscarried. Just as this whole tattoo idea came together I came to a greater peace about being patient in the process and letting God timing prevail (not that I could really do anything to change God's timing in getting pregnant, but I could change my attitude towards it). The quote would pop into my mind when I would think with frustration on how another birthday was going by without having a baby, when I would hear of another friend that was expecting, or something else that would bring to light the fact that we were STILL trying. But still, I was so nervous about finding the right artist, the sizing, placement, etc. I figured I'd never go through with it.

Then one day my uncle called me and asked if I would go with him when he went to get a tattoo of my grandma who passed away early last year. I thought it'd be interesting and knew it'd mean a lot to him (I was always his favorite niece). Just on a whim I decided to take the picture of "Poohsticks" to get an actual tattoo artist's opinion on it. I thought to get the detail it'd have to be bigger and I didn't want it big, didn't know how well it would translate into a tattoo, how much it would potentially cost, how long it would take, basically I was clueless. Once there, I showed my uncle's tattoo artist the image and he asked another artist who wasn't busy what she thought. Her face lit up when I showed it to her. She talked about how she has all her Winnie the Pooh books from her child with all her own doodles all over the pages and that she would LOVE to do that as a tattoo. She gave me a price (which was way less than I expected) and said she could fit me in right then if I wanted, otherwise I might not get in for another month or so. I wasn't going to do anything without Matt's input so I called him...waited for an hour for him to call back, and he said I could go for it (ok, so there was a lot more to the conversation than that and a lot more going on in my head before coming to that conclusion). As soon as I said I would go for it, I expected to be freaked out, but I was super calm and confident in the decision!

The tattoo itself took about 2 1/2 hours including the 40 minutes of break we took. Would have been less but, not planning on getting a tattoo and being there so late, I didn't eat and I passed out with about 20 min. left to go. In talking with my artists, she told me that she actually was a children's book illustrator before going into tattooing! I know it sounds silly but I feel God just lined it all up for me. So many things could have stopped me that day, but I'm so happy with how it turned out (I have had multiple people tell me it looks fake because it's so colorful or that it looks like I just taped a page from the book on my shoulder). 3 weeks later, I have not a single twinge of regret and fall in love with it even more every time I look at it in the mirror.

And God has such a sense of humor! I guess me being serious enough about waiting on His timing to permanently put a reminder on my body was all it took! (jk of course). I got my tattoo on a Tuesday and found out I was pregnant that Saturday!!! And honestly, it just makes the tattoo that much more significant because it's now a reminder of this week in my life when I was finally letting go of this desire that I held onto so tightly and also when God gave me that desire.

So there you have it...if you have problems with it or negative opinions, I hold nothing against you for having them but to be honest, there's no point in sharing those with me because what's done is done, the people that have the most weight in my life were consulted prior to my decision and I am at peace with my decision. You can choose to appreciate the beauty of the art itself and/or rejoice in the fact that it's a reminder to me of God's faithfulness in something that has been my heart's desire for as long as I can remember or not.

In process, this is with partial outlining done

Immediately after it was done. Minimal redness and swelling, a sign of a good artist!